|
aggiebusnerd
[Recent Entries][Archive][Friends][User Info]
Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in the "aggiebusnerd" journal:
|
01:59 am
[Link] |
A possible end
So, I haven't updated this in quite a while. I think I'm beginning to lose interest in the whole thing. I don't know, it just seems so narcissistic sometimes. I really don't know if I'll keep this up. I mean, who cares about what I'm feeling at 1a (which seems to be the only time I write these entries) and about what the hell I did the last week? Eh, we'll see. I'm just lacking motivation for the whole thing.
Oh well, while I'm at it, I might as well write a bit more. So what has happened in the last three weeks?
Hmmm....
Not much.
Wow, that was sad.
Well, that's not completely accurate either.
My birthday has come and gone, so I'm another year older. It doesn't really feel like it. It doesn't really feel like anything. I mean, I guess at a certain point they all start to blend together. I honestly had a hard time remembering that it was my birthday. The constant reminder of a certain someone was the only thing that kept it on my radar. The birthday itself was pretty uneventful. I taught my class, I went to work in SJ - the usual. I did get some very nice birthday messages on facebook and two people were kind enough to send packages with some gifts. It was pretty low key day though, which I guess isn't bad. I'm just not big on my birthday anymore. I suppose that shows I'm getting old. Whatever.
I went to one of my old coworker's wedding on the 14th. Oh man, that was good times. I really hadn't expected it to be that great, so I was pleasantly surprised when things went well. I suppose I should give some background as to my expected dissatisfaction.
First off, I was kinda freaked out by the whole thing. He and his fiancé (now wife) are my age (actually, I think he's just a bit younger than me) and that is just so strange for them to be getting married. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy for them and I wish them well, it's just freaky when people your age get married and you aren't even that old. Let's see, it was also kind of a pain because it was all the way up in Davis. I had to stop off at the stationary store on the way up to buy extra wrapping paper because I ran out when wrapping their present and was left with a 4x6 gap which looked retarded. Then I battled traffic all the way up, which was surprisingly bad for noon on a Saturday.
Once I finally got up there though, things turned themselves around. One of my best friends from work also ended up going, so we hung out. And I got to see another coworker that I hadn't seen in like a year, so that was good. The ceremony was actually very short - only about 20 minutes - gotta love those Methodists. Then we headed over to the reception. I actually hadn't planned on staying that long. Of course that ended up turning into like 5 hours. I sat with my two coworkers at the table. We were joined by another work couple who are also good friends, so we had a nice little group going. Unfortunately, they left kinda early because they weren't feeling well. That left me and my two friends...and a lot of booze. OMG, we drank SO much. I had like 7 glasses of wine and a glass of champagne. We got so trashed. I haven't been that drunk in a long-ass time. It was so fun though. When we finally decided to leave it was like 10p something. Me and my good friend stumbled outside to go the shuttle that was dropping people off. When we got out there, the mini-bus was closed up, but we wanted to sit down. The obvious solution: break in. So, using my old busnerd skill, I broke into the van and we were able to sit down. We headed back to her house where we spent the next 4 hours sobering up on water. So much fun. Then it was a 2 hr drive home - not so much fun. But overall, very good times.
I had my orientation for grad school on Friday. More on that when I have more info on my placement and so forth.
Otherwise, life has been pretty good. I've been taking a break from San José so that I can spend time her while she is home, but I've got to start going back to work soon.
So yeah, that's life in a nutshell. We'll see if I write anymore. I really don't know...I just can't help but feel self-centered and a little strange for writing about myself all the time. Eh, who knows...
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World
|
|
12:49 am
[Link] |
Spring Time
Well, it's been awhile since I updated this last. See, I'm horrible at keeping up with these things. I still don't even know why I am doing this now seeing as I need to be up in six hours and my time would be better spent sleeping. Oh well, I guess that just shows how clear my priorities are.
Kind of a lot has happened since I wrote last. I guess the biggest thing was my trip to NY. There's really no better way to describe it than perfect. Everything went really well. I got see the city a bit and I had a chance to just relax. I really needed a break like that after the hellish week I had had before. It was just really nice to hang out with someone whose company I enjoy and just forget about everything else for awhile.
I got to see the Empire State Building one day and freeze as I enjoyed the view. The next day we went to Central Park and wandered around the Met for a couple of hours. I think that was one of my favorite moments - just wandering the halls together and taking in the art. Oh, and passing out on the comfy couch near Manet and El Greco - those are good times. Anyway, it was just a really wonderful weekend - I couldn't have asked for more.
So, the dream ended and I had to return to reality. Came back to Egan just in time for my students to begin STAR testing so the bell schedules are all messed up for the next few weeks. But I've still got lessons to plan, papers to correct, and classes to teach so it should be loads of fun.
Brief recap of other events: I chaperoned the Egan dance last Friday - god that was funny. Had my DMV physical today for my license - Kaiser screwed me out of $70. Have I mentioned how much I hate HMO's? I think I have my housing situation squared away, but I'm still waiting for details to roll in. Work sucks as usual, but what else is new? I'm looking forward to a week and a half from now. That will be cool.
Now I'm going to bed because I need to teach in a few hours.
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Keane - Somewhere Only We Know
|
|
01:53 pm
[Link] |
A better place
So, it's been a couple of days now since I've been to work. There's nothing like a break to give you a new perspective on things. Last week was really tough, both at San José and at Egan. I love my kids, but trying to teach them the last few things they need for their test right before Spring Break and the Washington, D.C. trip isn't exactly the easiest thing. And then the issue at the other job last week was kind of the last straw.
But now I've had a few days off and I really have gotten a better outlook on things. It's hard sometimes to keep perspective. Even though you know that you are caught in the middle of things and that the situation isn't as bad as it seems, it's difficult not to get that feeling of water rushing over your head. You really have to take a step back and remove yourself from the situation for a moment before you can really appreciate everything that is going on.
Things have actually been really good the past few days. I got my last CSET score in the mail. It was the World History & Geography one that I really didn't feel too hot about and so I was pretty nervous. When I opened the letter though, I was pleasantly surprised to see "Pass" written on it. That actually is a big weight off my shoulders. I've now completed all the testing requirements so I won't have to worry about that during the year. I'm just really shocked that I passed on the first try with everything. I hate standardized tests and usually suck big time on them.
In a few short hours I'll be on a plane heading out to New York. I'm really excited about the chance to get a real vacation. It has been such a long time since I was able to just go somewhere that didn't have work attached to it. Being in Washington was great, but there was always work hanging over my head. With this trip, I get to go somewhere that is not home and just relax. I'm excited to see stuff in New York, but more than being touristy, I'm looking forward to a change of scenery and the chance to hang out with a really good friend.
Housing is still up in the air for next year and is causing me a bit of stress, but I'm going to push all those issues off until I actually have time to address them. Right now, I'm just going to enjoy the rest of my week off and have fun in NY.
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Feeder - Comfort In Sound
|
|
05:29 pm
[Link] |
The future of this...
So, life has been incredibly crazy lately. Work at Egan has been busy as we prep the kids for STAR testing. Work at SJSU has just been downright awful. But, I'm trying not to focus on the negative issues, but rather the things I am happy with.
But speaking of negative... I'm not exactly sure if I want to keep this journal thing up. I've never been great at keeping a journal in the first place and there just doesn't seem to be time at the end of the day to adequately collect and arrange my thoughts into cohesive entries. That, and I'm still a little weirded out by the whole premise of putting a journal on the web for all the world to see. I don't know... I guess it serves a purpose to give people an insight into my life, but I still can't help but think that someone talking directly to me is a better way to get insight into me. Eh, we'll see. The life of this journal may not be long on this earth.
Current Mood: lethargic
|
|
09:47 pm
[Link] |
So tired
Oh god, I'm just so beat.
Got woken up at 4:45a and couldn't fall back asleep. Had to teach at 7:30a. Worked until 6p. Got dinner. Just got home. So sleepy.
It's been a mix of really good days and really bad ones lately. It seems as though the world is in a state of flux and trying to figure itself out and I'm feeling effects. Overall, things have been really good though, and I can't complain.
Things are going well in almost every aspect of my life right now and I'm confident (for once) that everything will work itself out. School this fall will be a bit of a stress, but I'm not going to think about that again for a while.\
Like I said, I'm just beat.
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Barenaked Ladies - The Old Apartment
|
|
01:51 am
[Link] |
Self-doubt
It's strange how life changes so quickly on you. One minute things are a particular way and then next moment, everything is different. I shouldn't be surprised though. After all, life is a series of unexpected events. You can plan and prepare all you want, but life will always find a way to surprise you.
It's these surprises that are on my mind now. I'm never completely comfortable with my reactions to these surprise moments. I'm often curious how life would be had certain things been different. That's not to say I live my life in fear that I have made the wrong decisions, yet I always overanalyze the events in my life. It's scary to think how drastically your life can change in just one moment.
I was walking downtown today to mail a letter and I saw a big traffic jam on San Antonio Road. Lunchtime on a Saturday isn't exactly when you'd expect traffic. As I started to make my way downtown I got closer to the source of the bottleneck. About a block away, cones were set out across the lanes of traffic forcing cars to make a u-turn at Hillview. Looking further up, I saw why. A line of police cars were blocking the road and an ambulance was in front of them. When I was walking parallel with the police cars, I looked across the parking lot to see what was going on. There was an old SUV stopped in the left lane of the road with a large dent in the hood. About 50 feet in front of the car was a yellow plastic tarp. Someone was dead. I guess that's why I'm thinking about choices now. Somebody made a choice to walk across the street and it was the last one they ever got to make.
Now, I'm not saying the choices and surprises in my life are anywhere near that serious, but it does get you thinking. My life has undergone such drastic changes in the past two-and-a-half months that I'm beginning to feel like I'm being left behind. I'm pretty sure I'm happy with the choices I've made, but I can't help but begin to doubt myself. That seems to be a personal flaw I have yet to overcome. I try to be decisive in my life and to not overanalyze everything, but I seem to do it anyway. At least I'm consistent.
Now that grad school is official, I'm beginning to doubt myself in that arena. Did I just jump into this unprepared or is this something that I'm going to be good at? Do I really have what it takes to effectively teach or will kids who are unwilling to learn get the best of me? Am I really capable of a Masters or am I just kidding myself thinking I have the brains for advanced study. I think that I'll be a good teacher and that I'll be able to reach my students. And I think that I'm smart enough for a masters and maybe even a Ph.D, but I'm never really sure.
There's so many things that I want from this life, but I'm scared that I won't achieve any of them. I guess I feel like my friend in the picture here; always searching for his goal, working diligently, and coming up with only windmills.
Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Choir Of King's College, Cambridge & Stephen Cleobury - Song for Athene
|
|
11:42 pm
[Link] |
Good times
Speaking of those golden moments...
Tonight was an excellent example of the things that I miss in life. I took Cody and Erin to the Giants game tonight. It was just a lot of fun. We sat there, ate food that tasted good but was horrible for us, had a beer and just enjoyed watching the Giants crush the A's.
I just miss those moments with friends when you can just hang out, relax, and enjoy each other's company. It just seems that the older we get, the less time we have for things like that. I hope I'm wrong - I'll just have to work hard at making sure that doesn't happen.
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Guster - Careful
|
|
03:53 pm
[Link] |
A little reassurance
I got my "official" congratulatory email message from the UCD School of Education today, so I guess that means I really am in and that this wasn't some cruel April Fool's joke. Now, I can move onto worrying about the million other things that invade my thoughts on a daily basis.
I guess I should start looking for housing, but I'm not sure when I'll have time to do that. I also have to figure out when I need to take those two education courses that I need. There's just always more to think about...
It's been an incredibly long week already and I still have another day to go. My double work life is just completely draining. I come home and I just want to pass out and die. Oh well, it will be over soon enough. In the meantime, I get to worry about finishing my projects in SJ and trying to figure out how to teach my students 100 years of history in 1 month...stupid STAR tests!
Even though I'm exhausted, I really can't complain about things right now. I really love working with the kids and I really love getting paid for the other job. I have just learned so much about myself and what I want for me this past quarter.
It's times like these that you need to look for; those little moments that open your eyes to the great things in life. Sometimes they are big moments, like getting your dream job. But often times they are the little things that you wouldn't normally think twice of, like a great conversation with a good friend. Whatever those golden moments turn out to be in your life, grab ahold of them and be thankful that they are there.
Current Mood: relieved
Current Music: Elliott Smith - Miss Misery
|
|
08:12 pm
[Link] |
Random association
You know, it's interesting what confluence of events will put you into a certain mood.
All of sudden, I'm sitting here and looking over the last few years of my life. One would assume that this was brought on by some deep and meaningful moment...not in this case. No - this was brought on by, of all things, a tele-marketer. Now, I know you are sitting there thinking, "OMG, he's completely lost it". But really, there is a logical explanation for all of this.
The tele-marketer was calling regarding some stupid alumni listing for high school and wanted to confirm all my information (and by confirm, I mean try to sell me some lame directory). Yet, even as I was giving information to some stranger sitting in a cubical somewhere, I couldn't help but start thinking about the past.
Now, I'm not suddenly wishing for a return to the "fun" that was high school, but it is interesting to think about where people are and what they are doing. While I still keep in touch with those people that I was really close to, I still wonder where some others are and what they are doing.
There's always that friend that you had in high school who had such potential, but was on the path to losing it all or that friend that disappeared off the face of the earth for no apparent reason the day after graduation. As we grow further and further from high school, those people fade from our memories. It is hard to keep those people in our thoughts as we are increasingly bombarded with issues from our lives. Then all of a sudden, they pop back up and you are thrown into a tailspin of memories and it is as if you just saw them a minute ago.
And then the moment passes.
Once again, they are nothing more but people who were once a part of your life. The impact they had on you is still there, but the weight of it all is no longer as obvious. You go on with your life, concerned about the pressing issues of the day, until you are once again flung into the past. Such is the nature of human relations I suppose. People float into your life and out again. Yet, they always leave a footprint.
Not having a big family of my own, I have made my friends my family. And I am always grateful to them for what they bring to my life.
Current Mood: reflective
Current Music: Joshua Radin - Winter
|
11:38 am
[Link] |
A quick look back
Wow, so after re-reading my incredibly late night post from a few hours ago, I have come to the conclusion that I shouldn't write things past 1a because I seem to come off as either disingenuous or just plain obnoxious.
Anyway, so my alarm clock didn't go off this morning and I completely slept through my classes. Oh well, I suppose I needed the rest. I just feel like they are going to think I have no work ethic. I guess I'm not the only one though. Last week one of the teachers didn't show up at all and hadn't called in a sub and they thought she was like dead or something. Turns out she couldn't sleep the night before and so she took a sleeping pill at like 2a. Not too bright.
Well, I think that's it for the moment. I still need to prep for the movie screening that I'm doing with my students after school and should probably go get something to eat too.
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Lauridsen - O Nata Lux
|
01:53 am
[Link] |
My first post
So, after having resisted the urge for years now to engage in the often pointless endeavor of a weblog, I have given in. I suppose there is some good that can come of this little project though. At the very least, I hope that it will keep people up to date on what is going on in my life - that is assuming I actually update this thing on a regular basis. However, one could make the argument that anyone who was truly interested in my life would actually just talk to me and ask, but that seems to be an argument for another time. For the moment, I'll jump right into a quick recap of my life in the past few months.
I spent the fall in Washington, D.C. with the University of California Washington Center. While I was there, I interned for Senator Dianne Feinstein, the senior senator from California. It was an incredible experience that I will never forget...[ok, fill in the blank here with all the usual crap you here from people when they go away for a quarter - not that my experience wasn't interesting or life-altering or anything, but I just don't feel like typing it all out. So if you really want to know about this part, just ask].
Anyway, after I returned from D.C. in December I was back up in Davis for my last few moments as an undergraduate. On December 19th, I crossed the illustrious stage in the Rec Hall (oops, I mean Pavilion - la-di-da fancy name change) and received my Bachelor of Arts degree with majors in Political Science - Public Service and Music. So much for the last 4 years of my life - all summed up in a 3 second mispronunciation of my last name. Oh well, it's all good. I'm glad I got my degree.
So after graduating, I was ready to head out into the world and start a career. I had a little hick-up in the process, which is an interesting story (not really) for some other time. But in mid-January, my life took a drastic turn.
Now, I really can say that D.C. was a life altering event. One of the things that I failed to mention (again, mostly because I was too lazy to type it a minute ago) was the research project I did. I wrote a considerable research paper addressing the federal No Child Left Behind Act and its impact on California High Schools. Working on this paper really made me think about the role of education in our society. Education has always been a topic that I have cared deeply for and I suddenly realized what I should be doing. So, I did a 180 and applied to the UC Davis School of Education's combined Master of Arts in Education and Single Subject Teaching Credential program.
In the meantime, I've been volunteering at my old Jr. High school. It has been a truly incredible experience. I work with two great teachers in five different periods of 8th grade U.S. History. I really love it and I am getting some amazing experience in the classroom. The coolest part for me is that I am student teaching one of those periods. 5th period has been my responsibility since day 1 and I do almost all the instructing for it. The kids can be a bit of a handful sometimes, but they really are good kids and it is so fascinating to work with them.
I also work part-time at San José State University where I serve as an executive assistant to a department chair (sounds cool, huh?). The job really isn't bad, but it makes for long days and I'm so exhausted by the end. Oh well, I suppose you have to pay the bills somehow.
The most exciting news that I have is that I got into my grad program. For some reason, they decided to let me in. So, next year, I will make my illustrious return to Davis and take my place as a Credential student working towards a Single Subject Social Science credential (meaning, I can teach 7-12) and then become a candidate for a masters. Amazing how your life changes in 3 months.
Oh, life changing, there's a whole other topic.
Well, I'm dead tired now and I have to be up in 4 hours to prepare my students for the scary world ahead of them, so I suppose I should go to sleep. We'll see if I keep this up - I don't know that any one will even care to read it, but I guess it shouldn't be for others; it should be for myself. Hell, I don't even know if I'd care to read it. Whatever, I'm going to sleep now.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Holst - The Planets
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
aggiebusnerd's journal